Robert

Born in St. Louis, MO, Robert Lawrence Ludwig was sold by his biological parents for a bottle of whiskey and a pack of Marlboros. A few years later those delinquent parents would join AA, get clean and give birth to another son, Eldrick Tont "Tiger" Woods.

Tiger Woods would become the best golfer that ever lived with a current net worth in the billions. Robert Ludwig’s current value has depreciated slightly to a bottle of whiskey sans the smokes.

The similarities are striking between the two brothers who have never met. Whereas Tiger Woods was a child prodigy and began playing golf at the age of two, Robert Ludwig at the age of two finally broke his habit of playing with his own poo.

Robert’s buyers packed him in an orange crate and took him to Cocoa Beach, FL, a sleepy little beach town on the East Coast of Florida. This would prove to be an outdoor playground where Robert spent all of his time outside surfing, fishing, and playing tennis. Most of all, he enjoyed playing golf despite a lack of coordination and propensity for freak injuries.

Tiger and Robert would unwittingly cross paths, moving across the country to opposite coasts. This was absolutely a coincidence and DID NOT... I repeat DID NOT have anything to do with a restraining order that Mr. Woods may or may have not filed against his biological brother.

After falling asleep in the back of a station wagon, Robert would leave Florida and move to Colorado. He lived in the mountains where he was a ski instructor and a raft guide, then moved to Boulder, CO where he got a job on a golf course.

It was at Indian Peaks Golf Course, just outside of Boulder, where Robert honed his golf skills. He spent hours and hours on the driving range and playing rounds and rounds of golf. In one year he went from shooting in the 100s to breaking 80 consistently.

Robert pursued a job as a PGA Teaching Professional, but found it was more lucrative to hustle members out of their savings. It was this profession that would ultimately cause Robert to leave Colorado (in the middle of the night with nothing but the clothes on his back) and move to the West Coast and change his name to Slade Magilicutty. (Shhh, don’t tell anybody!)

Finally, as in almost living parallel lives, Tiger Woods currently resides in Jupiter Island, FL on a $39 million residential property with his wife Elin and kids, Sam Alexis and Charlie Axel; Slade Magilicutty at present resides in Portland, OR in the back of a 2001 Dodge Ram Pick-Up Truck with his dog, Penelope. He still spends hours and hours on the golf course, plays to a 5 handicap and writes frequently for ZipGolfer.

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